16 - OlTf'l september 2001 FEATURES

Offender continued from page fifteen

adult sexual partners or poten-
tial partners about your past
as a child sexual abuser?

When I feel comfortable in
a friendship, I share this part of
me. I feel it is important that
someone close to me know
this information. It is a part of
me, and though I’m not proud
of what I did, I am very proud
of the effort I’ve taken to gain
control and stay in control.

EB: What keeps you from
acting on any continuing
attraction to boys under age
21? How long have you been

oflense-free?

As I said, I have not acted
inappropriately since August
of,l983. Here is what I feel is
the most important aspect of
my recovery: Any time I see a
boy I find attractive and know
he is underage, I have gained a
way of approaching this situa-
tion. I accept and say to myself
that I am attracted to him. If
I’m with someone who under-
stands my recovery, I may
even tell them. Then, I go
through a series of statements
that at one time I had to say
very slowly and move away
from the presence of the boy.

Now I can just think it
quickly - in one fell swoop. I
say [to myself] that though I
find him appealing and attrac-

 

tive, that I owe him his right to

‘privacy, to his innocence, to

his own time frame to become
comfortable with his sexual
life, to honor and respect his
physical space. And I also say
to myself that I owe it to
myself, and realize the conse-
quences that could ‘come from

such an interaction, that I have '

paid dearly in the past, I owe it

to my wonderful family for_ -

theii continued support, and to
my huge circle of friends for
all they have done for me and
continue to do for me. And I
have a huge responsibility for
all the people I represent in the
work I do, for those many peo-
ple who have said they look up
to me and want to someday be
as strong as I am [in remaining
offense-free]. I owe it to all ‘the
therapists who helped me so
well with the right direction to
my life.

All of this is said quickly
now - but there was a time
when I stated all that after the
acceptance of the attraction. I

have found it very important to‘

take ownership of the attrac-
tion.

Let’s face it, we all “win-
dow shop” humans we find
attractive. And none of us can
answer why we are attracted to
whoever we are — it just so
happens we are. It is vital for
me to accept that and own it,
then move on.

  
  

   
  

  

 

    
 
    
    
    
   
      

  

  

 

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that relates to sexual offend- ,

ing, ‘Cumming responds,

- “Such relationships are likely H ,

to fit’ the definition of. sexual

-abuse. Sexual a_buse_isa legal

definition? The age of con-
sent has not challged that
much. Whether the victim
thinks that -it is sexual abuse
or not is basically irrelevant.
A boy of 14 having sex with
a‘2l-year old man may think
that;it’s consensual, but it
would be legally defined: as
abuse. The issuesvare the age
of consent and the age differ-
ence between the abuser and
the victim.”. .  ‘  _
The legal age of consent

, for" sex in Vermont-is 16 for

both boys and girls. ,
“No. matter. how, involved

in the relationship or con-

vi_nced' of its consensual

"nature, ‘a later jre—evaluation

may reveal the manipulations
that were used and change a
person’s feelings about the

relationship,” Cummingfcon-,
. tinues. “Most teenagers are

quite’, clear about when
they’re being abused, but
there’s a small group of kids
who may be unclear‘ because
the abuser’s manipulations
are more subtle.”

Cumming and McGrath ~

outline sex offender treat-
ment in six steps:

I 1) First get the offender to
accept responsibility for his

  Nor or member?
You si-ill belong . . .

 
 
 
  
   
  
  

-Virginia Woolf

 

CLOUD 9 CATERERS
VERMONT

. ciontinued..lfroiii page fifteen .. -

actions and the harm he
caused. -
thinking used to justify their
actions. ‘ I :
3) Teach the olfender to.
understand the impact of his
behavior -on victims and to

“show more empathic behav-
ior with other people around

them. Teach the offender to
recognize other people’s
emotional stress, to identify

another person’s perspective,
and to communicate empathy

toward others. “If sex offend-
ers could learn empathetic
skills, they wouldn’t be able
to hurt‘ another person
again)’. says Cumming. “It’s

A really the opposite of military

training to turn other people
into -objects so we can kill
them.” _ , i '

. 4) Deal with sexual arous-
al. — reduce deviant arousal,
enhance arousal to an appro-
priate adult partner. The basic
lesson is that it’s not okay to
act on arousal around kids,
and. if ,_off'enders can reduce
the I level of their arousal
around kids, they are much
less likely to act on it. “With
gay men, especially those
who aren’t sure abut their
sexuality,” adds Cumming,
“that’s where there’s a lot of
discussion about how to get
support’ for them.’ When an
adult is troubled that he is so

V aroused to children, we use

behavioral interventions to
interrupt their deviant arous-
al‘ and behavior. I’ve talked

‘to sex offenders from other

states who have_ said [behav-

 Q.’   was the
I’,  1. ‘ part off:‘he program that they

d'{,t_l7ie, _.n1os_t,;. but it was
a1__ the" most. effective part in
h 1 ing .‘,th¢_m . change, their

  

    
  
       
       

arou§a1”t5..vkidl

2) Deal with distortedi

‘parole.

Planning for release into
the community. Sex offend-
ers are released into the coin-
munity usually under some
kind of supervision, such as
Releases planning
involves setting up a support
team of people who know the
offender’s issues and can
help steer him in a positive
direction, provide encourage-
ment and monitor his behav-
ior. Besides being under the
supervision of a parole offi-
cer, the offender is required

to participate in sex offender-

specific outpatient treatment.

McGrath reiterates -that
males who weremolested in
childhood by other males are
not necessarily gay, though
he agreed that it likely com-
plicates their process. of sort-

, ing out their sexuality. “Does

that make someone gay by

having a sexual experience
with an older male? I don’t‘

think so. Sexual preference is
largely innate, much of it
happens in utero.”

Doessexoffendeflreauneritworlci

According to Georgia
Cumming, Program Director
for the Vermont Center for

the Prevention and Treatment ‘

of Sexual Abuse, the current
model of sex offender treat-
ment used in Vermont works
— not perfectly, but better
than no treatment — based on
a recent outcome study.

The study followed up on
195 adult male sex offenders
who were referred to the

vprison-based treatment pro-

gram A between ~ 1989 and
l9l,93.lOf the 195 sex offend-
ers, 56 completed the treat-
ment program; 49 entered the
program but didnot complete
_it;_ and ‘:90 refused ‘treatment.

if  Noinfonnation was given on .

how’ many‘-§__i,f-iany -_of the I
y 1‘ patfticipantsui, ide‘nti_Afie,d .
” I he '7fwere_nordiff=r4‘

éS§,ed. ré-offselr