BY JADE WOLFE We are all prisms, multi- faceted layers of humanity. Whenever I am presented with behavior from another that seems to “over-challenge” my coping skills, it helps to remind myself of this prism perspective. Realizing we all have many sides is a judgment reducer for me. It makes a great deal of difference to believe in the power of per- spectives. Kindness comes naturally from within our spirits. Violence is an acquired taste. For people afflicted with an addiction fed by anger and mistrust, it is a diet of fear. And anger is a hungry addiction, constantly requiring more fuel. Entertaining a notion of a prism perspective toward oth- ers can deplete automatic anger and snap judgments. Maintaining a we-they attitude necessitates a narrow focus and unyielding perspective. It does not lend itself to wider views than necessary. _ Sadly, those who accuse ‘ jotliers the most, hate the loud- est; and fear the greatest are "mirroring out from what lies ‘within themselves Jlnwardly ‘ .iac1;. g>:~§é_1r»- _‘,‘_'rui'sting 5 V love, their outward view is a kind of self-reflection. Any time a broader glimpse might lead to common ground it is very unsettling. Recalling the “basic need pyramid” con- cepts of safety, shelter and sus- tenance, I am continuing my hopeful prodding from last month’s Yule-tide comments. Here we all are on a planet that is growing smaller and smaller as consumption increases out of proportion. While there are countries, ours being one example, capable of sharing enough food,»shelter, etc. for those in need it is not hap- pening. Yes, there are valiant efforts by caring, self-less groups and individuals. They appear as bright shining pin lights over a vast expanse of want. I understand our need to feel safe and sustained. And it is appetizing to have a life where there is a roof over me, food in me and warmth around me. But I would literally have to become a complete recluse, never letting in the outside world, to be comfortable with only my needs being met. In order to believe in some kind of superiority due to my gender or lifestyle or personal politics, I would have to close off most of my senses on a twenty-four hour basis. And I have my par- ents to thank for teaching me the reasons that I cannot shut down, tune out, and feel con- tent by choosing to be ignorant. If you are anticipating a description of 50’s sitcom model parents Ward and June Cleaver, it will not be forth- coming. I grew up in a family of angry, frightened people. The need to feed the anger and fear was a daily struggle for them. They were greatly aided by selective ignorance doled out through fundamentalist rhetoric, periodically spiced up with misguided prejudices. Trapped in that asylum of over-the-top hysterics, it was actually great training in how not to be. As soon as I could read, I did. Everything avail- able, including the religious text so often quoted. However, after reading it myself I realized that the quotes were in reality, mis- 7 quotes. That '-thefsavior, so ,fre.-, quently referred'vto'°and ‘prayed at would never have been wel- come in their home or the church. There were some fairly sane adults scattered about, and from my parents’ reac- tions, it was clear how very unsettling open mindedness was how unacceptable unconditional love was and how limited their vision remained. I. am sharing this personal glimpse_with you and myself equally. It illuminates my inability to pass up an opportu- nity to see the positive aspects of a moment, the potential of any initially negative situation or the silliness of schoolyard attitudes Whether you come from a logical outlook minus intangi- ble spirituality or traditionally based lives or any combination of views, it is my hope to offer momentary “deep breaths” for us. The freedom to step outside ourselves is greatly prized by many of us. Otherwise, there would be no demand or con- sumption of movies, books, television, radio, music or “extreme activities of play.” It causes me to pause and consid- er, “Is our basic need list truly satisfied by institutionally con- trolled comparison shopping to determine our occupations, relationships beliefs?” I am still thinking about Christmas 2001. We can all. step outside of whatever schoolyard we find ourselves frequenting. We do not need to nurture feelings of superiority to succeed in business, rela- tionships or education. Too often, healthy competition is confused with one-upmanship. The question has been put to me as to why my writing isn’t focused on GBLT issues in my articles. The overall picture is ever present as I write. These words vitally touch GBLT issues because we are all of us beautifully, complex prisms. Whether I am always com- fortable with it or not, I am connected to the sheet wearers, the narrowly focused, the rich and privileged the very peo- ple who raised me. Ignoring the interconnectedness does not cause it to disappear. Because I have a tremen- dous amount of faith in the future, the prism perspective works for me Everyday as children play in school, they have opportunities to let go of old schoolyard tac- tics, accepting each other more equally. We adults have the ability to choose higher ground as well. Everytime higher ground is sought, the message spreads a bit further. Positive energy can effectively influ- ence attitudes. We all make choices. As GBLT, we work, recreate and reside as members of a. larger community. Everyday there are opportuni- ties to encourage better under- standing. This month we celebrate “Pride” within the GBLT com- munity. Rainbows will be more prolific than usual. Prism light _has that affect. june 2001 OITP1 - 7 @ 6% IFOUR SEASONS CAKE DESIGN CUSTOM WEDDING AND PARTY CAKES -.7 ta Over 10 years of professional experience, using quality organic ingredients. Visit us at: www.fourseaso nseahedesign. com ROBERT E. SIMPSON - 802.238.9738 5 96 qfyrofitr benefit: local GLBT arganiauiam “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.” -Virginia Wmlf For over 10 years, Cloud 9 Caterers has been bringing creative, customized menus to the table. Cloud 9 hoasts an extensive variety of signature menu items that take i advantage of produce unique to Vermont. 1% also feature lavish custom cakes and desserts created hy our Pastry Chef Patty Berringer. 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