means it. Not the PartyLine I’m continually amazed at the number of times my part- ner, Martin, can do it. He can watch the same movie over and over again, and still enjoy it as much — or more — as when the film was new to him. That talent for perpetual appreciation of what is familiar has served Martin well in other areas, too. In a few days, we will celebrate our 11th anniver- sary. And he’s as happy to see my face in the morning now as he was more than a decade ago. He demonstrates his love for me, every day, with undimin- ished zeal. So, should all potential mates be subjected to the mul- tiple—viewing test to measure their capacity for long-term appreciation? Finding joy in the simple things is also a very desirable quality. Martin is content with a cold can of Pepsi, a variety of premium cable channels and a husband who loves him. Everything else is icing on the cake. I’m a lucky man. After eleven years, I still get excited to hear his voice when he calls home from a business trip.fI never fail to get aroused when he snuggles into a spoon posi- tion, before we go to sleep. Martin makes me laugh effortlessly. He tells me I look beautiful and sexy — even when I least feel that way — and he He allows‘ me to reveal intimate details of our life together and doesn’t object to the mining of my past rela- tionships for material on all sorts of topics. And he does so without fear of embarrassment I or fits of jealousy — an amazing -gift.to give a writer. He sup- ports and nurtures me. He understands my weaknesses and celebrates my strengths. How cloying can I get before there’s an insurrection by the sin- gle and unhappily partnered? I It isn’t always sunshine and lollipops for Martin and me. We’.ve had our share of chal- lenges, like any couple. We struggle with finding common ground on the frequency of sex. We get frustrated by a few of each other’s quirky habits. Our priorities for purchases don’t always dovetail. We’ve had quiet, but very passionate, arguments in the luggage department of a store, the park- ing lot of car repair shop and a mini mart, among other memo- rable locations. It rains in our happy world but not often and not for long. Our life, these past eleven years, has been a series of choices. We chose to be togeth- er and we choose to be monog- amous. We understand that other couples don’t makethat same choice and we respect their freedom to do what works for them. Respect, from our single gay brethren and those in open rela- 'tionships, is rarely reciprocal. More often than not, the question that follows, “How />§§<;< Whatever you take along for pleasure, consider this: We may feel safe in Vermont, but we're not immune to AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. Don't take a chance... take a condom may 2001 OlTl‘1 - 13 /l/akecfl €wu‘a»u:Iir¢ I don’t believe that open relationships are right for everyone any more than I agree that all of us can or should be one-man men. Yet, our community touts promiscuity as our right and responsibility. It’s no less peer pressure than teens being told that “everyone’s doing it.” long have you two been togeth- er?” is “Do you play?” When we respond, “No,’ we’re frequently met with dis- belief and disappointment, as if being a source of bed-hopping tales was required for being a long-term couple. Many of my colleagues in the gay press make a habit of sounding a clarion call on behalf of promiscuousness. There have been dissertations about gay men being unsuited to anything but a life of sexual smorgasbord. We’ve been described as animals motivated by primal urges. We’re thirsty nomads and our ‘penises ‘are divining rods guiding us to the next spot to dig a well. Are we all sluts by nature? It seems that even those without gonads-gone.-gaga are expect- ed to accept promiscuity as the party line. i I’m not prepared to do that. I don’t believe that open rela- tionships are right for everyone any morevthan I agree that all of us can or should be one-man men. Yet, our community touts 9 By Dennis Scott—Bush promis- cuity as our right and responsibility. It’s no less peer pressure than teens being told that “everyone’s doing‘ it.” When we first got together, Martin -and I experimented with visits to sex clubs and had a few threesomes. Weren’t we supposed to be doing that? The query in the gay papers wasn’t if couples should have open relationships but whether or not they should tell all or keep secrets. We had our infidelities — physical and emotional. For us, those activities were not inevitabilities, as some would suggest. They were mistakes. We’ve braved the explo- ration and errors and come out stronger on the other side. I salute the couples who have done the same. Here’s to anniversaries. many more Elizabeth C. Campbell, CPA, PC Certified Public Accountants 15 East Washington Street, Rutland 05701 802-773-4030 / liz@rallyCPA.com Tax specialists servinglindividuals and small businesses ’ " .: firicincialrlaerivicea E r " . ‘Not affiliated with Choice Financial Services — -.r 802-453-6677 fax 802-453-6685 dlescoe@together.net PO Box 42 42 Trillium Lane Starksboro, VT 05487 Investment Adviser Representative of, and securities offered through Tower Square Securities, Inc.‘ Member NASD/SIPC Vermont AIDS Hot/ine 1.800. 882.AIDS TTY 1.800.319.3141 MOTHER &»CHlLD TEA DANCE Mother’s Day Sun. May 13th WW|l Club Conz St., Northampton, MA Sponsored by lntimacies & Paradise Hospitality Group Directions and info available at 413-582-0709 DJ - Hors d’oeuvres - cash bar $10.00 Adults/$5.00 Children 5 yrs. + / Under 5 yrs. free SMOKE FREE EVENT Coming soon! Watch for our “Kick Off The Summer Luau” at the Inn at Northampton Call for info