/l/akecd 8 By Dennis Scott—Bush Open For Discussion The confession took me by surprise. My friend, Cody, and I were chatting about a variety of top- ics when he said he wanted to tell me about something he and his partner had been doing. I expected to hear tales of gardening or wallpapering. Instead, Cody admitted that they’d been exploring the pleasures of fisting. How can a single piece of information cause one’s mouth to open wide, while prompting_ one’s lower orifice to simulta- neously clamp tight?‘ Cody and George have a reputation for being prudes. They blush at any salacious comments. Now, these two vaingloriously vanilla men were putting their Crisco to. use - and not to fry chicken. What was even more‘ startling was that Cody discussed it with me with complete candor. I was taken aback, but I’d been in a similar position before. Several years ago, I dated a dental student who chose our third evening together to tell me that he had two primary passions: filling cavities and having his cavity filled. He spoke dreamily about the nirvana of knuckles in his nether regions. He belonged to a club that held weekly meetings for the sole purpose of expanding each other’s horizons, so to speak. My adventurous dental stu- dent invited me to attend one of the group’s gatherings. He promised that I wouldn’t have to participate. I would merely be an observer and could also meet some of his friends. Getting acquainted with some- one, while they’re dilated amply enough to park a bus up their ass, was not among my set of social skills. Still, ever the intrepid explorer, I went along to the party. “Can I give you a hand?” The question takes on a whole new meaning, when posed by a fisting fan. I was bent over, reaching into a cooler, trying to dis- lodge a can of Dr. Pepper from an uncooperative mound of ice. One of the club members stood behind me and uttered the previously referenced question. When I realfzed that he was only interested in assisting me in digging out the can and not digging in my can, I blushed with embarrassment at my ini- tial assumption. Are we too quick to judge other people’s fetishes? Does knowing about their predilec- tions forever alter the way we think about them? We-’re surrounded by peo- ple with proclivities that seem quite foreign to our own. I" love to see my partner, Martin, dressed in long underwear. Who knows why? There’s just something about the way he looks in that thermal fabric that makes my pulse quicken. I have a good friend who can only be thoroughly aroused if he has a leather cord,tied around his genitals. An out- wardly prim female friend considers wearing [her girl- friend’s day-old panties the height of eroticism. A long- time-partnered gay couple dis- covered, years ago, that their most passionate nights include spanking. . i My friend, Todd, used to say, “Everyone can be kinky. Some people let you know about it, and the rest keep it quiet. That doesn’t make them any less kinky, it just means they’re too shy to talk about it.” So much of what we say and do is kept from our friends, under the pretext of privacy. Isn’t the current adage, “too much informa- tion,” just a way to keep us from acknowledging that dif- ferent people — our friends included - may have certain propensities that make us uncomfortable? I’ve talked to Cody a few Whatever you take along for pleasure, consider this: We may feel safe in Vermont, but we're not immune times, since he mentioned the fisting. It was a tad awkward, at first. Whenever we learn something new and intimate about a friend or colleague, there’s a period of adjustment. Soon though, their particular penchant is just one part of who they are rather than the defining trait. And we feel closer to them because they have shared something deeply personal. Am I suggesting that every- one seek out five fingers full of fun? Definitely not. But I would certainly want any of my friends with unconvention- al sexual hankerings to feel comfortable enough to talk to" me about them without the risk of being judged. Everyone can be a little kinky. And as long as consent- ing adults are involved, fetish- es should be celebrated,|not treated like dirty secrets. I Keep an open mind. Wide open. Dennis Scott-Bush has always been curious and is often naked. His work has appeared in a variety of publi- » cations throughout the coun- try. E-mail may be directed to NakedCuriosity@aoI. com. to AiDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. 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