6 | Out in the-Mountains [March 2001. The Art of Rationalization Selective ignorance is potentially alive and well within any profession. BY JADE WOLFE Why is it we find some sub- jects too irritating to dwell on for very long? For me, para- doxical dilemmas can be mad- dening. The resulting implica- tion of course being that it is a matter of accepting rather than changing or resolving a con- flict. Age is a somewhat silly con- cept in my perspective, but reaching forty was a great relief in many ways. Humor being a daily staple of mine, every new year provides it in greater abundance. This is par- tially because of my perspec- tive. Friends hear many of my sentences begin with, “Well, I’m over forty now so...,” thus justifying otherwise (socially) eccentric choices. Equally, it is . applicable for retrospective observations. Rationalizing a ‘presently- past’ behavior can be satisfy- ing. For instance, I do not hes- itate ‘to’ "ta1kv£6 “inanimate objects. While this can alert some people as to a need to ‘sign me in somewhere’ for assessment, I proceed undaunt- ed. My view is that until it is proven to me that no life force of any kind exists within my computer printer, I will contin- ue to apologize if I swear at it. So far, the evidence is in favor of my printer having it’s own will because when it is spoken kindly to, there are no malfunc- tions such as paper jams, unscheduled breakdowns or scary smells upon use. But, I veered away from my original thought, also a privi- lege of ‘being over forty’. Freedom to choose our behav- ior, within some rather obvious social guidelines, is an impor- tant need. However, there are so many subtle restrictions we unnecessarily lay upon our- selves. Sometimes one layer too many accumulates and ‘something has to give’. This unintentional ‘smothering’ is one of the many pitfalls ensur- A ing mental health professionals long-term employment. I ' know, I used to be employed as » such. Let me be the first to say", having a professional label of ‘counselor’ or ‘crisis interven- tion worker’ does not mean you have some secret enlight- www.condoguy.com MK North fessid niiis (802) 655-3333 EXT. 17 (800) 639-4520 EXT. 1'7 enment eluding the general population. ' Sadly, stressed-out people often need permission to help uncover whatever has been choking them. Mental health care can sup- port this kind of effort. It can be a frustrating endeavor. There are some unforeseeable facets. Agendas are an exam- ple. Whenever people interact, there are agendas. _ In this nar- rative, an agenda might be viewed as a recognized topic for discussion, a challenge to work through, or list of goals to . achieve. Less obvious yet just as important are the unspoken, perhaps unconscious agendas. And it was not apparent to me until I had been experiencing this ‘life cycle’ for a while of the existence and significance of those unspoken agendas. It can be so useful to remember we all possess a few agendas. Being aware and comfort- able with being a lesbian has been great for me, but not always an assurance of com- fortable outcomes profession- ally. There were instances where agendas became the real issue, superceding appropriate care of clients. And one has been turning over, unresolved in its paradoxical state of late. ‘ Guilt is definitely a connec- tion to the past. Most likely guilt plays a part in my need. to re-examine and ‘let go’ of this past ‘paradox’. As I mulled over it, an unforeseen agenda came into focus. Through the course of my tenure as a mental health coun- selor, a young lesbian I worked with was trying hard to come to terms with a bout of depres- sion. Her moods were low and permeated her days with over- whelming despair. It was more than apparent that she needed to take a break from ignoring herself. Karen wanted to main- tain a 40-hour work week, keep North Professionals Each Office Independently Owned and Operated SELLING BUYING REAL ESTATE? Call JACKIE Jackie Marina REALTOR 802-655-3377 X23 802-639-4520 X23 e—mail jockie@together.net up appearances with friends, and be a good partner. This left her, at best, a half hour every other Tuesday to deal with her personal needs. ._Now having gotten to know her, it was obvious to me that Karen’s lifestyle wasn’t the pri- mary issue of this depression. Therefore, I feltjustified in not spending much time on the topic when offering her an option of entering a treatment facility. We talked about the benefits of rest, group activi- ties, and assessment for a pos- sible chemical imbalance to treat depression. She saw the merits, and in spite of the social stigma of ‘hospitaliza- tion’, which has not changed over twenty years as I keep fer- vently believing it can, agreed to give herself this gift of care. Now here’s the ‘kicker’ for‘ me. This particular facility had no qualms about her lesbian partner having visiting rights. But it did not guarantee my client was free from those sneaky, often self-guiding hid- den agendas. Selective ignorance is potentially alive and well with- in any profession. There were two key staff members (out of over a dozen) who harbored a selective ignorance. Karen did not receive care without the influencing prejudice regard- ing homosexuality. Some of it was subtle and some not. The result was not dramatically tragic I am so thankful to say. However, Karen had made a difficult choice. She had relin- quished-quite abit of privacy in hopes of learning how to take better care of herself. She was trusting this staff to help and care for her. And honestly, because she trusted me initially to offer the option, I have held onto some anger toward. myself. The loss of her person- al dignity and insulting treat- ment was totally unnecessary, unethical and unforeseen. . One psych nurse actually spent private counseling time expounding the sinfulness of homosexuality. The other avoided any personal attention, including shift observations of medication effectiveness. These two professionals had a hidden agenda. it affected their behavior in caring for another human being. The ridiculous preaching of one and failure of the other to ade- quately assess medication were serious breaches of ethical con- duct. The client was able to stick out the treatment time. although the first impromptu ‘counseling’ session resulted in a late night call to me request- ing I help her ‘get the hell out of the place’. Confidentiality precludes me in detailing the ensuing steps taken. I will state that it was of little conso- lation for either Karen or me to know these two staff members would, in the future, not igno- rantly select to be professional- ly biased. It was possible to find a medication for the depression; In spite of the dubious treat- ment, she was able to appreci- ate her accomplishment. And, "as with anyone receiving some type of counseling, it is the client who learns to heal them- selves. Just as through physi- cal challenges we learn to appreciate the restorative/heal- ing properties of our own bod- ies, it is equally true for the less tangible realms of our beings. Coming to terms with an irritating paragraph of a life chapter is good. But, I wonder how often my own hidden agendas shade a perspective and subsequent choice. Ultimately might it not be bet- ter to no longer have so many instances based on a ‘we-they’ scenario? There has been mu_ch time and energy wasted by dividing lines. A kind of perpetual domino effect takes on a life of its own. The need to have someone to distrust begets the need to maintain selective ignorance feeding a belief of superior ideals. And it is much harder to hate someone once you have shared some level of understanding. ‘ Our planet is getting smaller every day. Hidden or unspo- . ken agendas need not belong here. None of us are immune to agendas. Awareness can tip the balance, so we need not become part of a paradox. Maybe I misuse the word ‘paradox’ ‘by standard defini- tions. Well, after all, I am over forty now.