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REVIEWED BY
NICHOLS

JOEL

With sections on law and
politics as well as coming out
and sex, the recently published
XY Survival Guide." Everything
you need to know about being
young and gay by Benjie
Nycum provides young gay
men with a handbook celebrat-

. ing boys attracted to boys.

The book is not filled with
erotic photographs of teenaged
boys like the popular and con-
troversial XY magazine from
which the Survival Guide orig-
inates. Instead, its nine chap-
ters, glossary, and list of
resources at the end are illus-
trated by tongue—in-cheek car-
toons that look like a boy-scout
manual.

My scout manual was never
this up-front, though. . The
guide has a no-holds-barred
approach exemplified by the
chapter on sex. After an intro-
duction about a promiscuous
15-year old in Toronto, it talks
directly about sex feeling good
and the guilt sometimes associ-
ated with it. The introduction
ends with, “Broaden sexual tol-
erances, deepen sexual experi-
ences, be safe, learn from each
other, and promote a general
feeling of sex—positivity”. It
even includes a section they
wanted to call “Buttsex,” but
decided to avoid some contro-
versy by making the title “Tea
with Grandma,” followed by

- an explanation from the author.

This section is a good example

I , of the candid approach the

author takes; it has 10 tips for
“Exploring your butt,” and it’s

i_ only the second chapter.

Controversy aside, I found

‘i the coming out section (appro-

priately chapter one) to be
helpful. Aside from historical
background about Gay
Liberation and modern legal
victories (notably omitted are
civil unions), it provides the

i 1 closeted with 23 tips for com-

ing out, a discussion of possi-

 ble consequences, and myth-
 "dispelling facts about queer-

ness‘. " My ‘favorite part of this
section’ is called’ “What to Tell

Be Prepare

a Foo—Foo Head,” to help
“kewl kids” plan how to
respond to their parents’ ques-
tions. Typical of the entire
book, there are several first-
hand accounts of coming out
from different perspectives,
including tales from a boy who
lost a possible boyfriend
because he could not come out
and another who came out only
while recuperating from a sui-
cide attempt.

Near a listing of gay-themed
movies, there is an essay from
a boy in Texas who was con-
vinced that he was the only
queerinv his small and conserv-
ative town. By the grace of the

I deities, Vermont is “not Texas,

but growing up queerin a. rural
space is of interestto those of
us in the Green Mountains.
This essay would have givleri
me some hope had I read it
when I was 15 years old. The
section of the book dealing

T with legal issues tells us about

Vermont’s hate crime and age
of consent legislation, but must
have gone to press before civil
unions.

Also of use to queer teens in
the state is the chapter on
schools. There are tipson how
to build support, start a gay-
straight alliance, and handle

harassment». . The .-.;i‘='1Ii:st-laand_,i

accounts of being out in high
school are eye.-opening, and
may leadsomgekids to think
that it is possible to do so safe-
ly. There is also a listing of
books that inform on a variety
of themes about queers in edu-
cation that can be suggested to
teachers or parents.

M y
strongest
criticism of
the X Y
S u r v i v a 1
Guide is
that some of it is not realistic
for much of its target audience,
especially in Vermont, where
there is not an underage
nightlife facilitating social con-
tact.

The book is written with a
politically queer bent, which is
not at all useful for someone
struggling to come out. In the
section labeled “Networking
and Politics”, there are several

._questions analogous to the
‘ ,“What,to Tell a F oo-Foo Head”

list,l,in’ which” kids see some

questions from the religious
right‘ and possible, ways of

answering‘ them. ‘One answer
strikes , me,  ;2arti’cularly
ridiculous for,this"target audi-
ence of teens. In response to
“the church says homosexuali-
ty is evil”, ‘the smiiyaz Guide
argues that ‘the, church, in want-
ing to keep théfeoonomy stable,
created the taboo against sexu-
al deviance interconnected

.with the fall of the status of

woman, thereforejithe church
is only an “instrument of the
patriarchy” thatwants to sup-
port the bourgeois family. To
us queer-radicals, it is aperfect
argument, but for a bunch of
“kewl kids” who just got their
guide to coming out 70 pages
earlier, this section is not
entirely useful.

I would have loved to have
this book when I was 14 or 15,
and would recommend it to any

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January_2001 | Out in the Mountains I23

X Y Survival Guide.-
Everyfhing you need to know about

being young_and gay
Beniie Nycum
XY Press, San Francisco

 

young queer boys I know.
Unfortunately, there is no
mention of girls in this book
and there does not seem to be

game:

§13l:'9II‘l-5.1 IEELIQEIE

 

any guide to being young and
a lesbian; this book is boy-spe-
cific.

Although it is at times unre-
alistic, the Survival Guide is
the first scout manual for
queers that I have ever seen,
and itslisting of resources tar-
geting gay teenagers is a posi-
tive and impressive indication

of the improving quality of life
for them.

Joel studies German and
Linguistics at Wesleyan
University in Middletown, C T
He is originally from Brandon,
VT.V

It’s about men
It’s about hair
It’s about time

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today and build an endowment for tomorrow.

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