tures delicious bread, inventive
salads, and——for the adventur-
ous—-—crocodile, zebra, ostrich,
and gazelle. ‘

Have your space cake and
eat it, too!

When mellowing out is in
order, you can smoke more
than tobacco and munch cakes
Little Debbie never dreamed of
inside one of Amsterdam’s
many “coffee shops” (there’s
actually coffee, too, if you
want a multi-directional buzz).
Those whose Cheech & Chong
days are in the past might feel
less intimidated at a tourist
joint (no pun intended) like
Smokey on neon-drenched

Rembrandtplein. Once your

eyes have adjusted to the cav-
ernous interior, ask if former
Vermonter Miki is working,
and say ‘hi’ for us.

This ain’t the Smithsonian
The famous museums—
Rijksmuseum, van Gogh
Museum, Anne Frankhuis—
are covered in any guidebook,
so I’ll ignore them but extend
a warning: People allergic to
brazen heterosexual PDAs (of
the pre-Personal Digital
Assistant variety) may be sub-
ject to sneezing fits through-
out the van Gogh Museum.
Since Van Gogh’s romantic
life was less than stellar, I can
only imagine that sunflower
renderings make straight peo-
ple uncontrollably horny.
Speaking of which, don’t
miss the Sexmuseum. Even
more eye-opening than the
pansexual visuals are the
accompanying texts: Am I the
last to know, for instance, that
Americans invented anal sex,
that" women most prefersex
with animals, or that lesbians
tend to have the kinkiest sex?
Less titillating, perhaps, but
equally engrossing is the mar-
velously interactive
Amsterdam Historical
Museum. Save energy for the
culminating exhibit, a memo-

     
  

rabilia-crammed recreation of
‘t Mandje (its exterior is pre-
served on Zeedijk), one of the
first bars to serve as a gay/les-
bian gathering place. Its charis-
matic lesbian owner, Bet, held
court until her death in the
‘70s. Her surviving sister
shares colorful anecdotes of
Bet’s life (such as why
snipped-off neckties dangle
overhead) from a TV behind
the bar.

20 Charming Rooms
Peace & Privacy

‘B319

100 Acres-Pool
Hot TuboT1-ails

‘Hi hlan

If only we were lesbians!

For the Dutch, biking is like
breathing. Parents ride with
newborns strapped casually to
their chests, as if inadvertently
vaulting over the handlebars
were utterly impossible.
Indeed, Holland is designed for
cycling, even if a voluminous
thorn bush proved that I am not
(fortunately, no small children
were attached to my body).
Those willing to brave bush

A LESBIAN PARADISE I

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20. Box 118

Bethlehem. NH 03574
603-869-3978
1-877-HES-B-INN (537-2466)

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ST. MARTIN

  
  

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URBAN TRAVEL

THANKSGIVING IN LONDON 11/23/00
Roundtrip Airfare/Transferes/Theatre Passes/6 Nights
Acomodations and of course sightseeing tour...!l!

October .2000 | 0utin the Mountains I35
= travel =

and bus, however, will be
rewarded with the intimately
lovely Dutch countryside. In
the moments we were actually
above sea-level, how we
longed to be lesbians just to
declare ourselves dykes on
bikes on dikes!

One last tip

You know that little herbal
doggie—bag you long to slip
into your suitcase? Don’t. The
rest of the world is, alas, not
Amsterdam.

6’

V 7

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