12 1 Out in the Mountains |00t0ber 2000 STONEHENGE TO STONEWALL by charlie emond Time Enough for Counts (and Barons, Lords, and Pages) lt’s not easy being a king, especially if you are gay and expected to produce a male heir. Throughout European his- tory, any number of gay men have found themselves in this situation, including King Edward II of England (1284- 1327), King Henri III of France (1551-1589), King James I of England and Scotland (1566- 1625) King Louis XIII (1601- 1643) of France and Frederick the Great, King of Prussia (1712-1786). In this “royal flush,” Henri is certainly our “queen” and Frederick our “ace.” Henri often wore makeup and. women’s garments. “He was of a feminine type...combining the qualities of both sexes.” Intelligent, witty, and sensitive, he was adored by all. Frederick was arguably the most successful of the lot. In addition to being a musician of some note and a friend of Voltaire, he. was an enlightened autocrat and a masterful mili- tary strategist. (Voltaire called him “a likable whorel”) James wanted to be a writer, but his greatest success in that vein was his authorization of the Bible translation that bears his name. During his reign, he unified Scotland and became King of England, but was never popular. The French king at the time called him “the wis- est fool in Christendom.” Like Fred, Louis was a real soldier who liked doing manly. things with other soldiers. In addition to sports and hunting, he liked “handsome young favorites of his own sex.” Edward, on the other hand, hated military stuff — his depic- tion in the movie “Braveheart” shows this very well — but he loved everyday stuff, like dig- ging ditches and black- smithing. (He was also attract- ed to the ordinary fellows found doing these things.) He nearly didn’t get to be king, because he kept flirting with his boyfriend at his coronation. You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em! The big question here is what to do with the official wife? Obviously a king was expected to have a queen — monarchy depends on it! All of the ladies in question were picked out by others with an eye toward gaining lands, money, political power, con- nections with important fami- lies, or all of the above. Nobody cared about beauty, intellect, or any other virtue. married Anne of Denmark. James is said to have quipped that she was the only woman he ever slept with. If a gay king was lucky, he might get a bride who could deliver an appropriate male heir on the first shot and then find some other guy to spend her time with. The idea of love never came up. If a gay king was lucky, he might get a bride who could deliver an appropriate male heir on the first shot and then find some otheriguy to spend her time with. Edward’s queen, Isabella, found Mortimer to be a willing “companion,” and Anne. of .A.ustri'c.1a.. married, to Louis, had a fine time iii/ith Mazarin. Fred married Elizabeth of Brunswick because he was forced into it by his father. He said of his bride, “there can be neither love nor friendship between us.” He spent an hour with her on their wedding night and went for a long walk in the garden. He then gave her a palace of her own, to which he paid a courtesy visit once a year. Henry was married to Louise de Mercoeur, and James Know when to walk away Okay, then, what about the boyfriend, and what DO you call the king’s male lover any- way? (Boy Consort? Knight in Waiting?) It turns out that England actually had a post called “Gentleman of the Bed Chamber.” But whatever the title, the boyfrier_id_wa_s gener- , ally a liability. The love of Edward’s" life, Piers Gaveston, bounced back and forth from exile in France. This fun-loving playboy made the fatal mistake of laughing at the serious barons around the throne. If you want Edward’s life in detail, see the very odd movie bearing his name, or read the play by Christopher Marlowe upon which it was" based. Louis first fell for an older man, Luynes, with whom he nm c0mAm % NO Money Down! NO Mortgage Insurance! Loans up to $300,000/primary residence purchases only 30 year fixed rate or 5/1 ARM call for more information on this or any other programs ‘toll free 888-613-5626 KEN KAUFMAN AND JEFF OTEY 802 — 228 — 2288 30 DEPOT STREET LUDLOW, VT 05149 email: jotey@manhattanmortgage.com ' fax: 802 228 8222 often went hunting. He made him a duke, but after he died in 1621, the king took up with a pageboy named Baradas. Like Gaveston, this kid let his posi- tion go to his head. He did some heavy flirting with other men on a trip to Nantes, and got himself tossed out on his ass in 1626. His place was taken by young Saint-Simon, who reigned in the king’s heart for a decade until the clever Richelieu replaced him with Cinq-Mars, a lad trained espe- cially for the job. (I wonder what the special training involved!) Frederick was forced by his cruel and sadistic father to watch his first lover, Hans Von Katte, publicly beheaded. As king, Fred took up with Count von Keyserling, who became his life-long favorite. His valet, a handsome young soldier named Fredersdorf, was also devoted to him. Henri was a mother’s boy if ever there was one. He sur- rounded himself with hand- some young men called Mignons and showered them with honors and money. James’ first real love was Esme Stuart. Like Gaveston, Esme was driven into exile," where he died, much to James’ grief. He was followed by Lord. Hay, then a former page named Robert Carr, and finally by George Villiers. When the dealing’s done All five of our guys played the hands they were dealt as well as they could. They got married (not much choice in the matter after all), but they also stood up for their boyfriends, often at great polit- ical cost. Fred and Henri pro- duced no heirs, but Edward, Louis, and James fulfilled their kingly duties, produced chil- dren, and were succeeded by their sons. Next time: Lock up the chil- dren, Mabel! FMI: This gay history col- umn is the 22nd in a series which began in prehistory. My research for this column again comes from Gay Men and Women Who Enriched the World by Thomas Cowan and Homosexuals in History by A.L. Rowse. Charlie Emond has a bache- loris degree from Queens College and masters degrees from both Dartmouth and Keene State. He teaches col- lege history courses in Springfield and White River Junction.V a/In =.¢'cl-ifieiiie mix of handcrafted gifts for aesv-tjrsfdagf living. Taft carriers Sheffirtg Gslmbszr, Willistaoft - 878.8891 »...y _ -r—.;:~‘' ‘ onion River Co-op sutppcvls local gvowevs... Meet the Polls 2; who gvow ouw SC...‘ 1‘ Eugenie Doyle and Sam Burr grow unusually .‘ delicious garlic on the Monkton farm they call The Last Resort. 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